Dear Carly off of Eastenders,
Since you have moved to Albert Square i think its beena much nicer place. Im not mental or weird or on any drugs or anything but i do think you’re a very good mechaniac. I think this was proved when phil had to let you sort out the arches instead of Gary and minty (Who in my opinion are a pair of lazy buggers!)
Did you really get angry at Phil daniels when he wasnt actually your dad? I knew that he wasnt cos i saw him in some film my dad said i should watch that also haad sting in it of of the Police (the band not the filth). Phil also did some singing for Blur but i think he left the band after a couple of songs cos Damon Albarn wanteed to do something with some monkeys or gorillas. It was someting do with london zoo. Anyway I digress.
I hope that i could get a signed photo of you to put on my wall to show people and tell them that you’re a very good mechaniac indeed.
Loves you
Steve
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