26th April 2009
Dear Paul Rudd,
If someone paid you a million dollars would you change your name to Crapbag? Not that I think you should, I think Paul Rudd is a nice name, and Rudd rhymes nicely with Judd, as in Appletown, so you won’t forget that dude who makes all the funny films.
I liked it in Knocked Up when you were in Vegas and kept sitting on all the chairs, and I liked it in Forgetting Sarah Martin when you called that dude Pepepyopi, and in I Love You Man where you slapped da bass. Basically, I like all your films, and I am more or less your biggest fan, fo sho.
I think if you decided you wanted a penpal, I would be a good choice. I can spell really well, unlike some people I could mention (not you, someone else, you don’t know them), and I can do joined up writing too. Everything you need in a good penpal, that’s what I say. Also, you could come and visit me in Leeds and I could take you to the all you can eat chinese. In these financially difficult times I find it a godsend, Paul, I really do.
I think it would be a good idea for you to send me a signed photograph, since we’re going to be penpals and everything. Please find enclosed one of me.
See you soon!
Lucy Knight
