15th June 2009
Dear Eddie Izzard,
You are probably the cleverest comedian around. You’re certainly no Dave Spikey, that’s for true. I also think if Dave Spikey wore heels and eyeliner I would want to turn the telly off. In fact, when Dave Spikey’s on the telly in flats and no makeup at all, I still turn the telly off, or at least over, so as to keep my retinas intact. And my sanity.
Anyway, back to you! You’re also an established actor now, what with your Ocean’s 12 or 13 appearances! Very well cast, that was. You play a high-brow geek perfectly. There was that Super Ex Girlfriend film you were in but for the sake of your pride I’ll not touch on that too much.
Why, Eddie, why?
Anyway, no doubt you’ve punished yourself enough already over that.
The reason I am writing to you is to ask for a signed photograph, on account of I think you are awesome and as much as I don’t usually go for dudes in makeup, I sort of fancy you in a strange, dude-in-makeup kind of way. A signed photo of you would mean I can finally chuck the one of Dave Spikey away.
Yours sincerely,
Lucy Knight
