13th October 2009
Dear David Cameron,
I recently stayed in a bunk barn with lots of people to celebrate my friend Clare’s 30th birthday, and on one of the evenings we started to discuss politics over a chinese takeaway (the prawn toasts were absolutely delicious). We realised that we were clearly getting old, because ten years ago we would have been discussing much more interesting things like boys and nightclubs and things like that. Anyway, we talked about you a bit, and I have to say, you got a fair bit of stick. I did what I could, David, I really did. I like you. I don’t think you’re two faced, I think you’re a good orator is all. I also think Hitler was a good orator, but you’re much nicer than him. You cycle to work, although Clare said that you have a car follow you, which she pointed out defeats the purpose from an ecological perspective, but I didn’t pass judgement because I didn’t know if it was true or not, for definite, anyway.
Personally, David, I think you’re much better than that Scottish one. You’re nicer to look at and to listen to (he does that really frustrating thing with his chin – it winds me up, really it does. If I ever meet him, I’ll ask him about it, because someone should but clearly nobody has). I also think I’m rather Tory, on account of my mum and dad are members of the Conservative Club in their village, and also I prefer blue to red.
So basically, you’ve got my vote. All I ask for in return is a signed photo. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Lucy Knight
