5th June 2010
Dear Your Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama,
How are you? I am fine. Apart from I have been having some problems with my eyes, namely that of late I keep falling asleep in my contact lenses and then waking up with pinkeye, and my glasses are broken (the left nose resty bit’s snapped off) so I think I’m going to have to get some new ones. Where did you get yours from? Did you go to Specsavers? Do they have Specsavers in Tibet? They do two for one you know.
Also, I wanted to ask you if being reincarnated gets a bit boring. Because it sounds awfully tricky, and like it might not be fun. I mean, when you were born, did you know you used to be that other guy that was the Dalai Lama before you, and the one before him, and the one before him and so on? Were you sat in your cot looking at your teddies thinking ‘this is rubbish, I’m the Dalai Lama, the top dude in Buddhism, what am I doing in a nappy?’ I imagine it can be frustrating. My Nana (who used to watch Coronation Street and make the most awesome scones and eccles cakes) died and then a week later my cousin had a baby and we all thought that maybe it was Nana reincarnated, but I’m not so sure because she didn’t recognise me and she still hasn’t made me any scones.
Anyway, I heard about the troubles with China, so I’m going to boycott Chinese food as part of the cause. Free Tibet! And please could you send me a signed photograph?
Yours sincerely,
Lucy Knight
