6th July 2010
Dear George Michaels,
I read in the paper today that you crashed into a shop in your car. Maybe for your own safety you should think about catching the bus? I hear in London you can use oysters as currency on most public transport and what with you being rich I bet you can get hold of a load of them. They sell them in Loch Fyne up our way, but I don’t go in for them much, I think they taste a bit like jizz. You Londoners are crazy.
Please send me a signed photo, I collect them from people who have had car crashes. So far I’ve only got Richard Hammond and he’s not really all that.
Yours sincerely,
Lucy Knight
