letter | stephen baldwin

January 7, 2010

7th January 2010
Dear Alec Daniel William Stephen Baldwin,
Well I never! You are on Celebrity Big Brother in England! I don’t mean to be rude, what with you being a famous actor and everything, and what with me being about to ask you for a signed photograph and all, but what the hell are you doing? You [...]

Read the full article →

letter | michael buble

December 30, 2009

Dear Michael Buble,
You know that Keeping up Appearances programme that used to be on the telly, with that woman in and also that other one who plays Mrs Santa Claus in Santa Claus the Movie? And you know how her name is Mrs Bucket, but she makes everyone pronounce it ‘Boo-kay’? Well I was wondering, [...]

Read the full article →

letter | louis walsh

December 3, 2009

2nd December 2009
Dear Louis Walsh,
Oh no! Jedward’s gone! I liked them. No really. I thought they had talent and the x-factor simultaneously. They’re just kids, people were too hard on them, they’re just doing what kids do, poor Jedward and their hair and singing red PVC suits and lucky charms.
Anyhoo, since you’ve got a bit [...]

Read the full article →

letter | roger whittaker

December 2, 2009

1st December 2009
Dear Roger Whittaker,
There is this man in my office who whistles all the time and it gets on my nerves, and so Marcus said that that’s nothing, there’s this guy called Roger Whittaker who whistles for a living, and so I googled you and found not only that you do in fact whistle [...]

Read the full article →

photo | emma watson

November 29, 2009
Read the full article →

photo | jayne middlemiss | guest contributor

November 18, 2009
Read the full article →

letter | him off of shameless | follow up

November 10, 2009

10th November 2009
Dear Dean Lennox Kelly,
Hello! Thank you for writing back to me and sending me a photo (I like sepia, it’s very atmospheric)! As promised, please find enclosed a picture of me and James Martin (and Steve).
When is your programme going to be on the telly? I am very much looking forward to seeing [...]

Read the full article →

letter | jeremy sheffield

November 3, 2009

27th October 2009
Dear Jeremy Sheffield,
I watched The Children on Friday, on the recommendation of a lad at work, and he said it had Warren’s little sister off of Hollyoaks in, so I thought ‘oh it’ll probably be all right, she was my friend on Facebook for a bit a while ago’, but do you know [...]

Read the full article →

letter | martin kemp

November 1, 2009

26th October 2009
Dear Martin Kemp,
I heard that Spandau Ballet were getting back together, and can I just say, it’s about time. Where’ve you been? Well, I know you’ve been in Eastenders and that, so I’ll let you off.
You know that Krays film you did with your brother where you play those Kray brothers? Well my [...]

Read the full article →

letter | josh hartnett

October 30, 2009

25th October 2009
Dear Josh Hartnett,
Sometimes I get you and Ashton Kutcher mixed up, which is weird because you don’t look like each other, but mostly it’s just a good job I’m not Demi Moore, or there’d be all sorts of rumours flying around. Also, I’d be really old, which isn’t so great. Although she is [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →